Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Recovering Around a "Backdrop of Disorder"

Check out my latest NEDA blog about recovering around a backdrop of disorder - thanks NEDA for publishing my words!

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

The Best Worst Question of All

I was recently etroduced to the work of Dana Shavin. Her memoir, The Body Tourist, chronicles her experiences following her recovery from anorexia. I asked her for any insights she might have for my readers about illness and recovery. Here's what she had to say:

The Best Worst Question of All

It’s a great question. And a terrible one.

“What’s the most important thing you learned in your recovery from anorexia?”

I was asked this not long after I left the hospital, by a friend of a friend who was
struggling with depression. It was a great question, because it made me think hard about
what things had really helped, and why and how they helped. And it was a terrible
question, because it asked that I hang my recovery on the peg of one “most important”
thing. To do so would have been to ignore the complexities of anorexia, and the
multitude of important lessons of both illness and recovery.

That said, here is a partial list of the most important things I came to understand that
helped me in my recovery. There are many more things—people, books, therapy,
journaling, taking positive risks, asking for support—that also played a role. As you read
through these, I hope you’ll think about what has helped, or is helping—or would help—you.

--Eating disorders trick us into believing we are thinking clearly, but in truth they are side
trips that lead us away from the real questions we could and should be asking ourselves.
What if, instead of what won’t I eat today and how much can I exercise, I asked
questions like: what are my dreams? My goals? What am I passionate about? What gives
me meaning? What do I want to DO with my time in the world? These questions took me
outside my small, stuck world of anorexia and reminded me that there was a larger world

--Starving, binging and purging, and eating and exercising compulsively are behaviors
rich in metaphor; but ironically, we can only really understand their message once we
STOP engaging in them. I so wanted, while I was ill, a guarantee that my life would be
better/different/happier if I “gave in and gained weight” as I called it. But I learned that
in fact I could not create the better, different, happier life I desired until I stopped the
addictive behaviors. It took every ounce of courage I could muster to trust that I would do
the work of making my life better/different/happier as I regained to a healthy weight. But
it was enormously more empowering to do that work and reap the rewards (I became an
artist and a writer and a dog rescuer and a life coach) than it was to starve, day in and day
out, with no plans, no goals, and no dreams larger than to weigh a bit less than the day

--Recovery is a complex process that starts, but doesn’t finish, in the 28 days or 4
months or year you’re in treatment. It happens over time, and it requires a willingness to
continue questioning (kindly, and without judgment) all the things you thought were true
about yourself, and the world, that led to or sustained your eating disorder. The gift of
looking deeply, honestly, and over time at yourself and your behaviors is the gift of true
understanding and, ultimately, forgiveness.

--The size of a life isn’t inversely proportional to the size of a body (i.e. my life did not
feel larger and richer the smaller I got, as I thought it would) but grows in proportion
to how well we nourish the self. Allowing myself to become fully functioning, curious,
authentic, creative, interested in the outside world, flexible, and open-minded is what
grew—and continues to grow—and expand my life.

--A sense of humor goes a long, long, long, long way. Try to have one about yourself.

--Forgive yourself for whatever it is you are not. Forgive yourself for whatever it is
you can’t do. Forgive yourself for all the ways you believe you have failed. Everybody
fails. Tons of people are failing right now, at something. True freedom comes when you
understand this, and let yourself off the hook.

Dana Lise Shavin is the author of The Body Tourist (Little Feather Books, 2014), a raw,
candid, at times comical look at the six years following her “recovery” from anorexia
nervosa. Her website is www.danashavin.com.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

2015's NEDAwareness Week

Drumroll for NEDAwareness Week!

The theme for this year's event, happening next week (February 22nd -28th), is "I Had No Idea." Programming centers around helping people "get in the know" toward the goals of improved education and awareness and early intervention and prevention of these devastating illnesses.

I'll be participating in the NEDA panel, "'I Had No Idea!' Athletics and Eating Disorders: What Fitness Professionals Need to Know and How They Can Help" on 2/24 in New York City. Later in the week, I'll be a guest in a NEDA Twitter chat: "A Slippery Slope: Identifying Disordered Behaviors Before they Go Too Far" along with Cristin Runfola, PhD and author, Jenni Schaefer. You can follow my Twitter (@drstaceyla) for more information on these events.

Want to attend one of the many NEDAwareness Week events ? Check out the panoply of offerings here or follow the hashtag #NEDAwareness. Get involved - and in the know!

Wednesday, February 04, 2015

Breaking Bad Ads

Anyone see this gem of a Superbowl commercial?



It's titled, "All You Can Eat," and yes, that's the voice of Aaron Paul, of Breaking Bad fame.

Any thoughts?

Here are mine. Food is not a drug. It's something we need to survive. Can people develop unhealthy relationships to food, behaviors that mimic addiction? Yes. But, this commercial doesn't focus on that process or how to heal it. What it does do is villainize food - condemning items that are glazed, fried, baked, iced, etc. The images are presented at a frenetic pace, with food portrayed as harmful and repugnant as the blue product Paul's character helped produce.

The ad ends, "No one's telling you what to do. You can stop whenever you want. Well, sort of. . . You got to eat, right?" Yes, you do have to eat, and this is one of the main reason that abstinence models of addiction don't work with food. Cut out those foods that you're craving? Often, those will become your binge foods. Check out the diet-binge cycle or have a conversation with someone in recovery from an eating disorder to find out more.

The finale presents the words, "It's time to take back control." But to me, control doesn't come in the form of a diet (even a diet that doesn't call itself a diet). Control comes from returning to your innate ability to self-regulate intake and to use food for nourishment (and pleasure) in healthy ways. The ad's tagline? "Weight Watchers: Help with the hardest part." I disagree. In the struggle to heal your relationship with food, getting involved with Weight Watchers, endorsing the diet mentality, and demonizing food items is likely to make the process that much harder.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Celebrity Weightloss

Last week, the media seduced us with the headline, "Kirstie Alley Slim Again."

Is anyone still buying this?

As msn.com writes, "Kirstie Alley is no stranger to a diet. The 63-year-old star has been thin, fat and thin again more times than we can count." Apparently, Alley recently lost 50 pounds. Again.

So, why are we still reading the headlines, listening to the news clips, and studying the before and after pictures?

Diet work - until they don't. Celebrity weight-loss roller coasters are perfect examples of what professionals have come to to call the "weight-cycling industry." What if someone like Kristie Alley, Marie Osmond, or even Oprah, who recently told Barbara Walters she still needs to "make peace with the whole weight thing" were to come out with a statement of success in this arena?

Now, that would be newsworthy.

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Eat-in-Peace Resolutions

Thank you to all who submitted your eat-in-peace resolutions. Below is a sampling of some of the intentions that generously graced my inbox in the last couple of weeks. Take a peek - they're inspiring! Contest winners (whom I notified by email) were chosen blindly by a third party, and the books are on their way! I wish everyone the happiest and most peaceful of new years. . . .


"My resolution is to live my life and not wait to do things when I get thin!! I have put off so many ideas thinking I didn't deserve that till I lose weight."


"Ultimately, I want to work on not judging everything I eat.  For example, I want to stop the inner voice that seems to have a comment about everything I eat.  If I eat ice cream, I want to just have ice cream, instead of thinking "oh, that was more sugar.  I already had sugar today".  Or "I'm having pizza tonight, even though I ate a lot of carbs today and didn't get enough vegetables."  The self judging is something I want to end because it's not necessary and just makes me feel doubtful with everything I eat."


"My resolution is to continue to eat for health and not restrict any foods except those that trigger migraines for me. It will be about wellness, not weight loss."


"I resolve to continue the progress I've made by maintaining my break-up with the scale, by appreciating my values and accomplishments, and by living a life without fear or guilt. I will not speak or think negatively of myself or stress myself out with frivolous worry about food or exercise. I will own my decisions and enjoy this journey."



"My DEWHAED New year’s resolution is to stop comparing myself to others or to a vision of what I want to be – which is usually a skinnier version of me. Instead, I would like to live my life as who I am, in the here and now, with a healthy attitude and a grateful heart for how far I have come."


"Every year, I give something up for the New Year, only to fall flat on my face and feel worse than before. Cheese, carbs, soda. I've lost and gained and lost and gained hundreds of pounds, and at my biggest and smallest, I felt terrible about myself. I binged to my largest size, and I restricted to my smallest.

This year, I'm giving up guilt. My birthday was a few weeks ago and I got a head start on my Resolution by getting rid of my scale. Weighing myself every day was screwing with my head, my whole day was good or bad based on what numbers I saw. From now on, I am going to love myself, to mindfully eat the foods I enjoy without measuring or weighing or counting anything, and I'm going to live, really truly live. I'm going to stop hiding at home and avoiding friends and social situations because I am ashamed of my body. It may not be perfect, but it is mine and it is all I have. This body has been good to me, much better than I have been to it.

I'm a mom now, I need to be healthy not only for myself, but for my son. And health is not just about a healthy weight, but a healthy mind and a healthy relationship with food. I want to be a good role model for my baby. My childhood memories of my mother almost all involve her avoiding cameras and saying "no thanks, I'm on a diet." I want my son to remember me and his childhood differently."



You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com



Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Holiday Book Contest!

It's hard to believe that my book has been out for six months. For almost eight years, I toiled away on this blog, and then, this past June, the book finally came to print.

In celebration of this half-year publication mark, and in keeping with the holiday spirit, I am going to give away two signed copies of Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? to my loyal readers. It's this community that inspired me to write the book and that continues to motivate me to post regular content on this blog.

To enter the contest, either email me privately (drstaceyny at gmail dot com) or comment below with your DEWHAED New Year's resolution. No diet talk, no rigid exercise plans, no weight-loss promises - only body-positive, revamped resolutions that promote eating in peace and accepting/respecting yourself. No resolution is too small or too big - just an intention to create a healthier relationship with food or your body.

The deadline for resolutions is 12/22. Winners will be selected at random that week, and the books should arrive around the new year. In celebration of good health. . .

Fine print: Please enter the contest only once. For those who submit via email, please include your mailing address to receive a book if you win. If you submit via comment, be sure to send me a follow-up email with your mailing address. By submitting a resolution, you authorize DEWHAED to post your anonymous response. Winners will be selected by drawing so as to preserve resolution integrity.



You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com